don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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