sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
