playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
