in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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