I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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