i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize