Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
