your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
