I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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