I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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