It's Friday. Sex?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
