I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
