i think my mom watched the whole time
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
