So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
