If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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