As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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