Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize