True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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