He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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