I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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