Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
