The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize