i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
