dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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