He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
