I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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