I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
