found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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