Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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