I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
