I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
50% drunk capacity currently
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
