Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize