I'm so fucking centered right now
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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