A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The beer is more important than you right now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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