Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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