There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
