I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
