God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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