That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
