Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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