don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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