party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize