he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We had to coat check the pizza.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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