Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
