Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
