i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
