We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize