So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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