Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
