are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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