yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
