Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
