It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
