you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
