I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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