p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
