Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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