Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
