Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
