Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
