I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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