Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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