No awkward lesbian experiences without me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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