what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
